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How to avoid the biggest mistakes I see with self care!

Self care is something we see A LOT of online and it's only becoming more and more popular, especially on social media. And most of the time that's a really great thing; it's normalising self care and raising our awareness around all the ways in which we need to be supporting ourselves.

BUT - I have seen some common mistakes that people make when it comes to self care, which prevent them from getting the most out of it. Let's unpack them together:

Mistake #1 - The random approach

Taking 'the random approach' to self care is usually the first thing I see people get wrong. Because there is so much information out there online about what we all 'should' be doing for our self care, it's often very generalised and generic. We then engage with the generic advice or style of self care we see, expecting it to be right for us. But, we are all different and all need very different things from our self care.

For example going to the gym is great, but is it meaningful FOR YOU? Do you even enjoy the gym? is that the style of movement that feels good for your body?

Taking certain supplements is also great, but is it meaningful FOR YOU? Do you know what you're body needs? Have you had a blood test to see what supplements would be best for you?

As you can see, in order to get the most out of your self care WE NEED TO HAVE MEANING in what we are engaging with and not take the random approach of following generic advice or suggestions. In order to find meaning, we need to first know what our intentions are, what it is we would actually like to achieve with our self care and then from there, we can make meaningful choices.

Mistake #2 - Only Scratching The Surface

The random approach is often quickly followed by the surface level approach. The way self care is mostly represented online is very attractive, appealing and aesthetically pleasing. Things like the bubble baths, the skin care, the massages are what we see a lot of. And I, like most, LOVE this form of self care, but it's often where people tend to stop. These things are really valuable as they help to cultivate that self compassion and healthy relationship with the self that we need, but there is a lot more depth we could be exploring too. Let's think about the side of self care that social media doesn't show:

  • Saying no or setting a boundary even when it makes you really uncomfortable

  • Getting through your life admin to do list

  • Tackling your home chores

  • Facing up to the task you have been avoiding

  • Choosing the long term gain vs the instant gratification

  • Getting out your comfort zone for your personal development

  • Owning your emotions

  • Taking responsibility for your journey and your actions

  • Budgeting your finances

  • Addressing the difficult feelings you have been avoiding

Ask yourself, am I practising self care on all the possible levels? (Mentally, emotionally, practically, financially, physically) This is when you can take your self care beyond the things we all love doing and enable it to have a much more meaningful impact on your journey.

"To love one's self is the beginning of a life long romance. " – Oscar Wilde

Tip #3 - A Casually Chaotic Style

The casual and chaotic style is what gets in lots of people's ways! We ALL benefit from a little structure and routine in our lives and our approach to self care is no different. If we do something chaotically, casually or sporadically, the chance of it having a deep impact on our well-being is quite slim! Now, it's really important to note here that we do NOT want to over whelm ourselves with so much self care and so many routines that it has the opposite effect, but we do want to be mindful of some form of consistency and commitment.

This is where the simple self care formula comes in:

1 simple act of self care + meaning = good quality self care.

If it's simple and it has meaning, you will find it much easier to remain consistent. If it's too complicated and doesn't have meaning, you will fall into the casually chaotic style and find it really hard to be consistent!

So there you have it!

Random, surface level and chaotic approaches to self care are the biggest mistakes I see. But when we have meaning, include all levels and remain consistent we can see life changing results!

If you aren't sure where to start you can download my FREE simple self care journal prompt here or book a 15 minute FREE discovery call with me to see how I can support your journey!

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