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  • Writer's pictureEmily Hughes Therapy

Finding Your Jewels and Gems

Over time we all build up layers of protection. Things to protect our insecurities, our hurt, our pain, our trauma, our emotions, sensitivities and vulnerabilities. These layers tend to look like coping mechanisms such as growing a tough exterior, shutting down, hiding our emotions, numbing the pain with substances, pushing people away and many other complicated behaviours we construct to keep ourselves 'safe.'

The more these layers increase and grow over time, the harder it is to stay connected to our sensitive vulnerable self because all of this 'protection' takes us so far away from who we really are. For some reason we felt shame. Shame for our feelings or our pain, shame for our vulnerabilities and sensitivities, and the more shame we feel, the more layers we build.

But, if we dig deep and start to shed these layers, one by one letting go of the complicated and restrictive mechanisms we have constructed, and realise that it is ok to feel, to be vulnerable, to hurt, to be emotional or sensitive, then that is when we realise that what we were hiding, what we were shamed for are actually our most precious jewels and gems that we have to offer the world!

Our vulnerabilities and sensitivities, our struggles and pain, is our beautiful gift. It's where our compassion is, our ability to feel deeply, our kindness and empathy. It's where our love is and our uniqueness is. And sometimes to journey through the layers, we just need to take car of ourselves in a deep way. We need to love and nurture our hurt, our pain, our vulnerability, and allow ourselves to feel. This is the journey back to ourselves, our true selves.

Brene Brown says that when we are feeling shame, the antidote to this feeling is not to protect ourselves with another layer and disconnect further, but to reach out to someone who has earned the right to hear about our shame, and speak on it. That is what takes shame away. Shame can not survive connection.

So think today about what layers you may have built up over the years and why? And consider what might actually be sitting underneath the rocks and dirt and rubble, what gems and jewels are within you? How can you start to let go of the layers and let little bits of these jewels just start to shine through, layer by layer, baby step by baby step.

Affirmation: I choose to let my gifts be seen. I am brave in my vulnerability, strong in my emotions and powerful in my pain.

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